And the MegaBall is…

… what happens when we get OUT of the jacuzzi!

Okay, so we all know that the Megaball is far and well beyond half a billion dollars tonight and my prediction is that it’ll hit close to $700 million.

My Facebook newsfeed is plastered with everyone’s tickets, and everyone praying to some sort of higher power. For the most part, people have come to a consensus that they’ll all help pay off their family and friends’ debts.

YAAAAAWN.

Obviously you’re going to have to do that. You’d have more money than if someone was to offer you a dollar every time Pikachu said its own name (which, btw, was cute and adorable for the first 2 episodes and then you just wanted to smack him across the face and yell “LEARN A NEW WORD!!”). You would take over as the world’s biggest douchebag if you didn’t, forcing Stephanie Meyers to give up her crown. Or maybe Bret Favre. I don’t know who I hate more. But you get the point.

I know I have a lot of opinions, but for the next 3 hours or so, this is the principle I’m going to stand by: the winner of a lottery should be determined by what they say they’ll do with the money. A large portion of the winnings, of course, should be donated to charity (does the California financial deficit count as a charity?), but you should also do hilariously innovative things that benefits all of mankind.

Here are my ideas. Please lottery gods, help me make my dreams come true.

  • I would personally fund another 3 seasons of Tila Tequila. Was it just me, or was Earth just a bit more peaceful when that show was on? Jersey Shore has definitely ruined the dynamics established by that adorable bisexual Asian girl.
  • Buy a plane and take all of my friend to visit a McDonald’s in each country.
  • Breed and distribute teacup rhinos. I’d also like those miniature giraffes, but I think NASA is already working on that.
  • Invest a shitload into teleportation technology.
  • Create a perfume line that includes “PHOking All Night,” “SYRAHously Wet,” and “Smell my Ho-Hos.”
  • Fill a water park with cooked spaghetti noodles so we can all be like that old lady in Patch Adams.
  • Train a bunch of lions and re-create a liveaction THE LION KING.
  • “Accidentally” throw radioactive waste into a local water tower and then fund my own X-Men. Except they’ll be called A-Men. A for Alexha, obviously. But then whenever anyone would be saved, they’ll have to respond with an AMEN!

I don’t know who wouldn’t benefit from these contributions to society, so if you’re the winner reading this blog, please give me your monies so I can make these dreams come true. Think of the impact you’ll be making on the world! How could we possibly have nuclear wars if everyone is all jolly riding down a slide into a pit of spaghetti noodles?!

Just make the check out to Dongha Alexha Lu Luong. :)

However, should you choose to take a more practical approach, I found this earlier.

Just something to keep in mind. Good luck everyone :)

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