My sister has three verbal motifs, if you will. If you spend just 30 minutes with her, she’s sure to say the following three words/phrases at least thrice:
- Negatory / Positron (in response to when you ask her a yes or no question)
- Bitchass (I have no idea what this means. I keep telling her that it’s a compliment because “some bitches got nice asses,” but she says it’s not a compliment at all. And she always SCREAMS it. Especially when she’s got road rage.)
- Nut up or Shut up (this one I completely approve of… except when she’s saying it to me.)
I chose to headline my post with this saying because a) it always makes me laugh b) my sister is leaving to study abroad in London in exactly one week and I still can’t grasp the fact that there will be an entire country along and an entire ocean between us c) I am super jealous that she gets to be so close to St. James Gate Brewery, Speyside Scotland, and Platform 9 3/4 and d) it always gives me perspective. Let me give an example.
My work is being audited sometime this week, and because I’m the lowliest ranking, my shift got moved to 3-11pm to free up time for the more senior chemists to prep for the audit. That’s fine with me, I get it. Whatever helps the team! Plus I get to sleep in extra. (Too bad I stayed up until 4:30am getting caught up on PLL, Community, and Are You There, Chelsea.) So today I ended up working until 12:30am due to a problem with one of our bottling lines. When I actually realized what time it was, I immediately tweeted “It’s past midnight! Why am I still at work?!”
You know that feeling you get when you send a text and then immediately wish you could reach out with your hands and snatch back the words? Well in case you don’t, this is what it’s like:
So yes, I had tweeter’s remorse. All the way home from work, I kept thinking about how stupid I was to complain about something like that. First of all, I have a job. During a recession. Are we coming out of this recession? I think we’re on our way out of it, but given how many Little Cesar’s and Popeye’s coupons I’ve gotten in the mail, it sure as hell feels like we’re still in a recession. Secondly, it’s a job I actually really enjoy. Third, I got overtime for staying late. But let’s focus on the first two: it’d be along the same lines as if I was to tweet “oh god, they gave me two extra donuts. Why am I still eating?!” If someone said that outloud with me in the vicinity, I’d personally walk over and smack them in the face. And then steal their donuts. It’s such a stupid thing to complain about.
I come from a long line of lower-class, blue collared folk (with the exception of my Army General grandfather). Like the typical Asian sob story, when my parents came to America, they both worked whatever jobs they could get to help support their families. My mom’s first job was in a turkey factory (like Butterball) where she carried dead turkeys from palate to another; her sisters all worked in various assembly lines around town; my dad worked in a butter factory. Yeah, a factory that makes butter. Sure, I work in “manufacturing” as well, but I’m running the show. I’m also not making $3 an hour, like they were. $3!! Let’s take a quick break from my venting to consider what we can buy for $3 today.
- Not even a Happy meal at McDonald’s
- 3 songs on iTunes
- 3/4 gallon of 87 octane gas
- a couple of rolls of toilet paper
- 3-pack of condoms
I know, I know. You’re probably thinking “but what about inflation?” Blah blah blah. I don’t care– I’m making a point here! Would you seriously work for an entire hour just for ONE of those things?! Probably not, right? Furthermore, I get to go home and relax with a glass of wine after work. My mom came home from her graveyard shift and then proceeded to cook/clean for her parents and 8 siblings. I barely want to cook dinner after a day of work! How the hell she ever managed to be so productive is beyond me. My dad, on the other hand, would pick up extra shifts anywhere else he could, like delivering pizzas or flipping burgers at McDonald’s. Clearly I have no grounds on which to complain about my life.
So I came to realize on my drive home that I’ve seriously got it good, and I need to nut up and shut up. Sure, I’m tired from working until 12:30am, but there are a million other ways that I could be worse off. Which brings me to my next point…
Sometimes I just want to yell NUT UP OR SHUTUP to people. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I see fb statuses or tweets about the most pointless complaints. Okay, I know I already wrote an earlier post that “I have a knack for complaining about stupid stuff,” but most of the time I’m being ironic. Like “ha-ha, I’m complaining about my bed being too comfortable because my life is so awesome, that’s all I have to complain about.” Sure, I’m not perfect, and every once in awhile I let one slip. But there are just some people who ONLY COMPLAIN. It makes me want to punch them in the face… only I know that there will immediately be a public complaint about it!
The ones that bother me the most are the ones where people complain about school. Don’t you dare tell me that “school sucks.”
- There are millions of people on this planet who would kill (probably kill YOU) for the opportunity to be where you are
- There are also millions of people who are in school and NOT complaining about it
You can argue that you’re privy to complaining because your circumstances are “special,” but c’mon, who are you kidding? You’re not the only one who’s had to pull an all-nighter, or had to take an exam during an “emotional crisis” (aka, your BF forgot your anniversary of the first time he ordered meatloaf on your weekly date night, or something stupid like that), or got the sniffles during finals.
My good friend / very famous friend, Jennifer Allison Tran, recently told me about her classmate who gave birth (TO A HUMAN BABY! OUT OF HER VAGINA) one day and then came to school the next day to take her final exams. Apparently Touro University can only give you 3 days “maternity leave” before you’re due back in class. But seriously, if this lady did this without complaint, I don’t see any possible reason why you’re telling me your life suddenly sucks because you couldn’t get off LoL long enough to study and you failed your test. Shove a bowling ball from out of your uterus and then we’ll talk.
Anyways, sorry for ranting about people who rant. I just wanted to publicly apologize for my tweet from earlier tonight.
Also, I should probably apologize for placing that bowling ball / vagina imagery in your mind.
Oops, I did it again.
The human body is amazing though, isn’t it?
Now I want a Happy Meal.