I have a knack for complaining about stupid things.
If you follow my twitter, you already know exactly what I’m talking about. If you don’t… well, WTF man?! I’m hilarious. Go follow me NOW. Oh, you don’t know how to use the “tweety bird?” Alright, I guess I can help you out. First, think of a hilarious/punny/cute username. Anything but “chimiDONGHA,” because 1) it’s already taken and 2) YOUR NAME ISN’T DONGHA. Next, start writing. Anything. Whatever comes across your mind. THAT’S IT! Now in case you need some inspiration, here are a few of my tweets that have to do with #firstworldproblems:
- Freakin Comcast can’t fix our cable so I’m stuck watching Jersey Shore instead of the new 30 Rock. RAGE!!
- Boo, I miss my puppy! It’s the one downside to vacations.
- I’m so bored, I tried to download Pocket Potions but couldn’t find it for Droid, so now I have to play Restaurant Story.
- My spicy chicken nugget 5-piece had a normal one in it.
- I can’t decide if I want a Big Mac or Chipotle for dinner.
- I can’t sleep with my engagement ring on because it’s too big and scratches me.
- My white strips make my teeth hurt.
- I eat too much and poop too often.
- No one noticed I correctly answered the Final Jeopardy question.
Okay, so you get the picture. Twitter is more than just complaining about dumb shit, but I always seem to find the #firstworldproblems ones the most hilarious. Anyways, my most recent complaintweet was that I will be celebrating my friend’s birthday in Vegas this weekend and my clothes are NOT nearly skanky enough for Vegas.
In fact, I’m not skanky enough for Vegas. I’m the type of the girl that likes to go to microbreweries, hole-in-the-wall taquerias where nothing is written in English, and last but not least, COSTCO. Guess what! My jeans and t-shirts are sufficient in all of these situations.
I have A LOT of clothes. Enough to easily go more than a month without doing laundry. Is that TMI? Who cares, we’re all friends now. Unfortunately for me, I have a single tracked mind when I go shopping. After ripping through my closet, hunting down anything remotely Vegas-appropriate, I’ve come to realize that all of my articles all fall within 4 categories:
- Gym clothes
- Flannel shirts
I’ve been clubbing maybe 5 times tops, and all I remember about them is a lot of sweating. I certainly don’t know how to channel my inner Snooki, and if “the Situation” flashes his abs at me in the unlit club, I’d probably freak out because I find his face to resemble a super creepy chipmunk.
So… what’s a girl to do? Should I just cut holes in all my clothes? Is that what other non-clubbing girls do when they go to Vegas?
If you have any suggestions, please send me an email ASAP. Until then, I’m going to immerse myself in lots of “the Hangover” and “Las Vegas” (the Josh Duhamel TV series) research.
UNLESS! This is actually more of an “Ocean’s 11” type of trip…